There were a couple very nice events in Columbus this week to honor and remember my Mom – the Volunteer Administrators’ Network presented the Mary Merrill Award of Excellence; Central Community House dedicated their board room in her name; and the International Journal of Volunteer Administration dedicated the current issue to her and presented Dad with a lovely commemorative picture.
You can enjoy photos from these events here.
I made a rather spur-of-the-moment decision to go home for a week. I had been thinking about going home, as February 19 is the first anniversary of my Mom’s passing. And then Dad sent me an email about a new award that was announced by the Volunteer Administrators’ Network of Central Ohio, the Mary Merrill Award of Excellence. The first award will be presented on February 15 (to one of Mom’s good friends, coincidentally), and I suddenly REALLY wanted to be there to celebrate. To celebrate Mom’s life, her career, her legacy, and the joy she brought to so many people. I checked the Delta website and found a good flight at a reasonable price and booked it! Barring any weather problems (knock on wood), I’ll be arriving in Columbus late Tuesday evening, Feb. 13, and will return to Kyiv on Thursday, Feb. 22.
I also just learned that Central Community House will be officially dedicated their conference room in Mom’s name on Sunday, Feb. 18. Both events are beautiful gestures to Mom, and I am so delighted that I can be there to witness the events.
It’s hard to believe that Mom has been gone for a year. An entire year without my Mom. There were times in my life when I would have relished the idea of a year without Mom’s interference, maddening questions, and even more maddening offers of advice. Now, I can’t believe that it’s been a year since I heard her voice, a year since I sought her opinion, asked her for advice.
I remember the last time I talked to her, like a serendipitous gift; it was 2 days before she died. We usually talked on Sundays. But we hadn’t been able to connect for a couple of weeks, and I had a phone call on my cell phone from “unknown number”, which usually meant an international call. This one I received during lunch at a busy cafe, and I didn’t hear my phone ring. Unexpected “unknown number” calls always make me nervous, and when I checked my cell phone after lunch, I was surprised and nervous to see that I had missed a call from “unknown number”. Back in the office, I called my parents’ house to see if it was them. Mom answered, and said that Dad was at work already but yes, it had been him that called. We hadn’t talked in a couple weeks and he was concerned that everything was OK. Mom and I talked for about 20 minutes. It was a rare conversation, just me and Mom. Usually, when my parents called me on Sundays they called together and put me on speaker phone. But that day, it was just me and Mom.
We didn’t talk about anything profound, in fact, I don’t remember at all what we talked about. But I remember very clearly that it was a nice conversation. We didn’t fight, I wasn’t upset about anything, and (I hope) I wasn’t a bitch about anything. I know I was (and probably still am) a difficult daughter, and I often thought my parents, especially Mom, were difficult themselves. What a pity that it took me moving halfway across the world to realize that I really respect and need my parents.
A friend’s mother-in-law died a week ago. It brought up such strong feelings in me. I don’t want to belong to this “club”, I don’t want to be the one to give advice in this situation. But, as it turns out, it’s not up to me. I am in this club, and I do have experience to share, as much as I hate it. So I will.
I am so happy that I will be present for the award ceremony at VAN and the dedication ceremony at Central. And although I wish Jeff’s mother (Julee’s mother-in-law) had not died, I hope I can offer some comfort and support.
Anka in Kyiv 