I just sent Dad through check-in at the airport, and I’m taking advantage of the free wireless here to download a bunch of big updates to my laptop. 12 MB down, another 100+ to go. I hope my battery my lasts long enough to get it all.
The last two weeks were a lot of fun, a lot of food, and a lot of walking. I hardly know where to start! I’ll post photos next week, and will write more about the day-to-day adventures then as well.
For now, many people have asked me for more details on the engagement and such. Dad seemed very happy, and surprised! We told Igor’s family on Friday. We went to Korosten for a quick visit on Friday (5 hours round trip on the bus for a 4 hour visit!). Igor’s parents had wanted to show Dad their house in a nearby village, where Ivan (Igor’s father) grew up. The house is pretty much as it was 100 years ago, except that it now has electricity. Ivan keeps a large (and beautiful) garden there, as well as rabbits. He spends 3-4 nights a week there in the summer, and talks all the time about how when he retires he will live there all summer long. It really is a peaceful, quite and lovely place.
So, we got to Korosten, and went to meet Igor’s parents at their house. We drove in their 43-year old car about 15 minutes to the village (chugged along is probably the more appropriate term!). Ivan proudly showed us around the 2-room house, the 2 small barns, and the lush and green garden. Nina picked some onions, herbs, carrots, beets and cabbage to send back with me to Kyiv. We admired the pear and apple trees, and ate some berries off a bush. Nina had brought some snacks for us, so we sat down to the table, Igor poured shot glasses of Ukrainian cognac, and we toasted Dad’s birthday (which was the 28th). Then Igor told his parents that he had asked for and received Bill’s permission to marry me, and they both just beamed. It was really wonderful! Ivan commented that his grandmother, who had lived in the small village house all her life, would have been very happy to hear such news. And Igor said that he had wanted to tell his parents there, in that house, because it was a special place for the family.
We ate and drank and joked for a bit. Igor’s mother told us about the old traditional ways of negotiating a Ukrianian marriage. The parents of the wanna-be groom would go the parents of the intended bride with gifts, and they would ask for the daughter for their son. If the daughter agreed, she would present the young man with a hand-embroidered cloth. If she was not interested, she would give him a watermelon.
Dad jokingly asked where the gifts were, and Ivan jumped up to bring him some beautiful old (100+ years) dress – hand-woven linen cloth, with hand-embroidered detailing. He explained that the long skirt part is made of a thick strong cloth to protect the woman’s legs from the bushes and such outside. The upper shirt part is made of a thinner, lighter cloth, over which would be put a kind of apron top or a jacket. Dad said he’d been expecting a Lada (a Soviet car), which was pretty funny. I was curious to see a pair of men’s pants, but Ivan couldn’t easily find any in his storage room. Instead, he brought out another woman’s dress and a long man’s shirt. Dad, of course, had just been kidding about expecting any presents at all, but I told him they wanted to give him these interesting and impressive family heirlooms.
After a few photos in the village, we headed back to Korosten for lunch with the rest of the family. Dad had printed some photos from our previous visit to Korosten, and everyone seemed really excited with them. Grandma and Grandpa fussed to no end about how old they look, but I think they both look pretty darn awesome for over 80.
We sat down to another humongous meal, and of course the toasts started. First, everyone toasted Dad, wishing him great health, a long life, and much happiness. For the second toast, Igor shared the news of our engagement, and his sister Oksana literally clapped with delight! I was so happy – I am really so very lucky not only to have found a wonderful man, but also a wonderful family.
A few hours later, as we were having a last toast before heading back to Kyiv, Dad asked Ivan to take good care of me. Ivan became very serious, looked Dad in the eye, and said “As one father to another, I promise you that no one will hurt Ann.” It was really touching.
Dad and I had a quiet, sleepy ride back to Kyiv. Igor stayed in Korosten to take care of some things there over the weekend. I understand the celebrating went on long after we left, and I am sorry we couldn’t have stayed longer to celebrate with everyone too. But, it is certainly not Dad’s last visit to Ukraine or to Korosten, and the next time, I am sure, will be as much fun. Ivan wants to take Dad to the village house for a couple days, just the two of them, which would be very interesting since they don’t speak the same languages!
As for the next steps, we don’t have any plans yet. It’s my understanding that, like so many other things in Ukraine, it’s a complicated process for a Ukrainian to marry a foreigner here. We’ll figure it out eventually, and if it’s too much of a pain, maybe we’ll just go the U.S. and do it there! Neither of us wants a big wedding, but of course it’s a great excuse for a fun party – several parties even!
Anka in Kyiv 